Finding Her Voice: How One Kiwi Leader Stepped into the Kind of Leadership She Once Thought Was for Others

Walking alongside extraordinary female leaders across Aotearoa is genuinely one of the greatest privileges of my work as a leadership coach – witnessing the sparks of clarity, the lift in confidence, and the brave choices that shape who they become as leaders.

This series honours six of these women, not as polished case studies, but as real leaders who are growing, stretching, and designing their leadership with intention.

We begin with Shelley.

Some women grow into leadership quietly. Others arrive in a moment – the instant they decide they won’t stay invisible any longer. For Shelley, that moment was the first time she realised she’d spent years waiting for someone else to give her permission to lead.

“I didn’t see myself as a leader,” she told me. “No one else did either. I was the quiet one in the corner, doing the work and not contributing. Not speaking. Not being seen.”

What followed is the kind of transformation that shapes teams, cultures, and careers.

Yes, this is a leadership coaching story, but more than that, it’s a story about a woman learning to trust the voice she’d been silencing for years.

The Invisible Leader

When I first met, Shelley hadn’t sought coaching. She was selected for her organisation’s senior leadership programme – a recognition she didn’t yet see as hers.

“I felt undervalued. Underappreciated. My peers didn’t treat me like a leader, and honestly, I didn’t treat myself like one either.”

This pattern is not unique. Global research shows:

• Women rate themselves lower in leadership capability despite outperforming men in 17 of 19 leadership competencies (Zenger Folkman in Harvard Business Review).
• Women’s confidence often declines as their competence rises – the “confidence–competence curve” (Zenger Folkman in Harvard Business Review).
• Research shows women speak up less in mixed-gender meetings, especially when psychological risk feels high, even though the quality of their insight is often stronger (Carter et al., Women’s Visibility in Academic Seminars, arXiv).
  
  

It’s not a capability issue, it’s a visibility, voice, and belief issue – amplified by years of being rewarded for dependability rather than strategic presence.

Shelley wasn’t alone. She was simply the one willing to say it out loud.

The Shift from Quiet to Clear

Coaching didn’t turn her into someone new. It helped her return to who she always was.

“I don’t wait for permission anymore. I say what I think. I challenge things when they don’t make sense. I trust my gut now.”

One moment still stands out for her. A meeting where hard-won work was undone without discussion. She spoke up, she cried, and she held the line.

“I thought vulnerability would make me look weak. It didn’t – it actually built trust. People saw how much I cared.”

The research supports what Shelley learned firsthand. According to Deloitte, psychologically safe teams exhibit higher performance, and vulnerability expressed by a senior female leader increases trust. Shelley’s authenticity didn’t fracture her leadership; it amplified it.

Leading With Accountability and Alignment

What Shelley rarely highlights – but absolutely should – is her leadership reach.

Her role goes far beyond financial stewardship. She is the 2IC: the person who runs the business in the CEO’s absence. She is central to holding cross-functional accountability. She is the leader who ensures the organisation moves from understanding its Vivid Vision to executing it.

Her influence is strategic and far-reaching:

• Bringing clarity to priorities
• Ensuring follow-through
• Strengthening accountability across functions
• Connecting the team to why their work matters

This is where women leaders often excel. McKinsey & Company’s global research shows that women are highly effective in roles that require alignment, clarity, and cross-functional collaboration. They frequently bring the relational intelligence and steadiness teams need during periods of change. Shelley’s leadership is a live example of that impact.

The Ripple Effect

Her shift didn’t just change her; it changed the entire organisation.

“The culture feels different now. People challenge ideas thoughtfully. They speak up more. They know their input matters.”

Research shows that when even one woman in a senior role increases her voice, psychological safety and the quality of discussion rise across the team (Deloitte).
Shelley didn’t set out to be a culture shaper. She showed up with clarity and courage – and the room changed because of it.

Freedom by Design: Her Definition

When asked what Freedom by Design means today, she didn’t hesitate.

“It means I choose where my career goes. Not someone else. I’m not invisible anymore. I lead in a way that feels like me, and I don’t burn out doing it.”

And here’s the part many people don’t see:

Alongside her work leadership, she is a devoted Nanna to Gaz, a renovation enthusiast, and a basketball coach.  Shelley is someone who juggles multiple worlds with heart and grit; she gives her best in every domain she commits to.

Freedom by Design honours all of it – the leader, the woman, the life she holds.

Leadership shouldn’t come at the expense of women’s wellbeing, identity, or joy.
It should reinforce them.

Her Advice to Other Women

“Use your voice. Don’t wait to feel ready. Invest in yourself. Find people who believe in you – especially when you don’t. And remember, coming out of your shell doesn’t mean becoming someone different. It means becoming more of who you already are.”

What Shelley Has Taught Me

Every leader I work with teaches me something new. Shelley has reminded me of the power of humbleness, endurance, and quiet courage. She leads with grit, determination, and the belief that with the right structure, support, and people in your corner, there is very little you cannot achieve.

Her journey continues to reinforce what I see in so many women: strength wrapped in humility, resilience shaped by adversity, and leadership that grows not from being the loudest, but from being the truest.

If This Resonates

If you see yourself in Shelley’s early story – quiet, capable, underestimated, waiting to be ready – you’re not alone. Leadership isn’t something women grow into by accident.
It’s something they design with intention, support, clarity, and courage.

When a woman claims her voice, the whole organisation rises with her.

Do you want to take your leadership to the next level? If yes, please reach out.