The Hidden Habit Holding Your Team Back: A Leadership Coach’s Guide to Accidental Diminishing

By Sharn Rayner | Leadership Coach, Business Consultant, Executive Coach 

You’re not the boss who micromanages. 
You’re not the one who hoards knowledge or shuts down others in meetings. 
You care deeply, move fast, and get stuck in. 

And yet… your team still underdelivers. 

Welcome to the world of Accidental Diminishers – those well-intentioned leadership behaviours that quietly stifle your people’s growth, confidence, and performance. 

In my executive leadership coaching work with high-growth mid-market businesses, I see this pattern all the time. CEOs, business owners, and senior leaders are pouring their energy into driving results – only to find their team relying more on them, not less. This isn’t a motivation problem, it’s a leadership blind spot. 

What Is an Accidental Diminisher? 

Liz Wiseman’s brilliant work in Multipliers helps us see what many leaders miss: you might be diminishing others without realising it. 

It’s not because you’re arrogant or controlling. It’s often because you’re too helpful, too passionate, or too quick. 

These are leaders who: 

• Jump in with answers (because it’s faster) 

• Drive meetings with energy (but leave no space for others) 

• Rescue their team (rather than let them struggle and grow) 

They’re not bad leaders. They’re simply doing what they’ve always done – at scale. But here’s the crux of the issue: what made you a high performer doesn’t always make you a great leader. 

The Impact on Business Performance 

This isn’t just a people problem – it’s a business problem. 

One of my clients, a seasoned CEO of a technology firm, was frustrated by the lack of initiative in his senior team. He was generous with time, always offering solutions, and prided himself on accessibility. However, over time, his team leaned on him for decisions they should’ve owned. Strategic projects stalled and accountability blurred. 

Through business coaching, we identified his tendency to be the Rescuer—one of Wiseman’s accidental diminisher archetypes. Once we named it, we could tackle it. 

This shift was key to unlocking a new phase of growth. He didn’t need to work harder – he needed to lead differently. 

One Simple, Powerful Fix: The “Ask Before You Answer” Strategy 

Want to start reversing diminishing tendencies? 
Use this: Ask before you answer. 

Instead of offering immediate input, ask your team member, “What’s your thinking on this?” or “What would you try next if I wasn’t here?” 

This tiny pause makes all the difference. It signals trust, invites ownership, and gives your people permission to think for themselves… And if they’re way off? You can still guide them, through coaching, not through controlling. 

This one tool alone has transformed leadership behaviours across several of my executive coaching clients – from recruitment agencies to professional services firms – without requiring a massive restructure, performance management or any significant investment. 

Why This Matters for Strategic Growth 

Building a high-performing business isn’t just about having the right strategy – it’s about having the leadership to execute it. 

If you’re doing the thinking for your team, your business will hit a ceiling. However, when you multiply the intelligence, creativity, and capability of your people – your business can scale sustainably, even without you in every room. 

That’s the multiplier effect; and it’s not ‘just a theory, ’ it’s a choice. 

Are You Ready to Multiply? 

If you’re serious about lifting leadership performance and scaling your business the right way, it’s time to look in the mirror. 

• Are your best intentions unintentionally holding people back? 

• Are your team’s underperforming areas linked to your own default behaviours? 

• Are you willing to lead with less ego and more purpose? 

This is where great leadership coaching and business advisory support come in – not to tell you what you already know, but to help you see what’s in your blind spot. 

Because when you shift from being the genius in the room to the genius maker, you not only transform your team, but you also elevate your entire business. 

Want to find out if you’re accidentally diminishing your team?  

Take the Accidental Diminishers Quiz and shine a light on your leadership blind spots. 

  

Sharn Rayner is a leadership coach, business advisor, and executive coach working with CEOs and senior leadership teams across New Zealand. Through strategic business coaching and tailored advisory, she helps high-growth mid-market firms scale with clarity, purpose, and people-first performance. Learn more at twotides.biz.